solitude. where will you go? was played on 2005-04-20 at 12:29 a.m.:

lots of things have been going on with aaron..buti dont think he checks here.

aaron is...nice, funny, sweet, entertaining, sarcastic, witty..lots of nice happy things. and i like him. hes my friend...wish we were more..but we wont' ever be. such is my life. All he wants from me is something i'm not willing to give him with out a title...i can't do that without love.

he really hurt my feelings tonight. most of you know..i'm really unselfish..i like helping others, not even bc i want to..but bc i feel i should. he said that he was unhappy..partly bc i said something last week that made him realize he is an egotistical asshole..he said he would have realized it anyway....i said i wanted to help..talk..hug..etc.. he went on about how i shouldnt' waste my time..he wont' be grateful for it anyway and all he cares about is himself..he knows hes flawed but he rather be flawed then try to fix hiself..on and on and on.

i went on to say that every night i stay up past 12am to talk to him..im losing sleep..everyday i stay later to hang out with him..i lose time... he said i was being egotistical to think that i could just comeup and save him..resue him from his problems..

i said..i try so hard to help you..give my time..and u call me egotistical for wantingto listen... goes on to say he is sorry he hurt me..and that he never wanted to hurt me..can't help but to feel ..hurt. i wanted to cry. this is what i get for trying to be a good person. a slap in the face. i'm not one to give up on ppl..unless they giveup on me first. and even then i'm willing to give it another shot...i dont know. i've never been called egotistical for tryingto help someone. maybe hes right.

i'm jsut so..upset..that he could be so nonchalant..about my feelings..about his feelings..about how sleep just make everything better...like it will make it go away. i'm not sure if i want to hold him to he feels better..or beat him up for being an idiot ass. i'm right there in front of him. how can he be so blind as to see right through me?

aaron:

"Where Will You Go"
evanescence

You’re too important for anyone
You play the role of all you long to be
But I, I know who you really are
You’re the one who cries when you’re alone
But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can’t escape
You can’t escape
You think that I can’t see right through your eyes
Scared to death to face reality
No one seems to hear your hidden cries
You’re left to face yourself alone
I’m so sick of speaking words that no one understands
Is it clear enough that you can’t live your whole life all alone
I can hear you in a whisper
But you can’t even hear me screaming
I realize you’re afraid
But you can’t reject the whole world
You can’t escape
You won’t escape
You can’t escape
You don’t want to escape

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