bang bang bang was played on 2005-05-19 at 4:02 a.m.:

i found my credit card...about 20 min after icalled and canceld my account. i miss my credit card so bad..jsut bc i know i dont' have that extra cash at my finger tips..should be getting a replacement soon...:: counts the days::

had the best day with aaron yesterday. we spent most of the day together..he makes me so happy..when hes not throwing up...(bad pico).. god i love him so... hehe he leaves me messages while i'm at work...all i can do is just..smile.

so the girl krissy at my work..is a real hoot..like she wont' shut up..keeps talking...she told me i was scary when she first met me..then said i was lots of fun and stuff once u get to know me..yea..lets just say i'm a different person at work for a reason:) danica is fun too..she is just silly. they make work fun..sometimes i feel like i'm having too much fun..bc its not painful and i almost look forward to going..better watch that though. heh.

going to day to look for apartments. hope that goes well.

oh and i fot all A's except for in theory..hehe ::dansu:: i somehow pulled an A in ventellos class. thank god. oh and in speech too. yes!!

so everyone came over tonight for an imprompt to "girls night out" thanks to amanda. i didn't know about it until the end of work..oh and guess where it was at? yea . my house. they just left around 2:30. it was fun though. we watched the count of monte cristo. good movie..but badly taken from the book..if u've read the book..be warned...nothing like that movie..happy ending!! hollywood bastids.

my grandma is again getting sicker and sicker..like a big vicious cycle..she seems to be better..and then a really really bad day..and then the better..then the bad day..tonight was pretty bad..she had an accident and then went limp so my aunt woke me up screaming at me to help them..in an emergency..so i throw on clothes (it was hot in my room) and my gma crapped all over her bed. so i helped clean her and dress her..it was really sad..made me want to just cry..but i know my mom would have been mad..bc she does this all the time...so i kept it in..and cracked jokes and tried to be stong..god it hurts so badly to see her this way. i'm just shaking. i'm angry...and ..just...yea..i'm weak..ok? i can't help it.i ignore it ..and i try to be strong..but..god..feels like my heart is jsut breaking...every time i see her. i won't cry. i'll be ..strong and happy...face it..for my mom ..and ..god damit i will be happy. for her.

some guy blatantly stared at me today in line at wendys. he jsut turned around and stared and me..smiled nad stared..god it was creepy..made me wish aaron was ther eto like...mark me or something. wow. that sounded sooo bad. lol. but seriously..freaked me out.

its almost four. dont' think i'm going to go to bed. might jsut stay up all night and day..who needs sleep.

oh the bastidges blocked off my street again on monday..a shooting..20 rounds into the house next to the one next to me. shit man.cant those mexican keep it in their pants? i dont' wnat to know ur name..i jsut want BANG BANG BANG!! wow. that song has a whole new meaning now. heh.

thanks lan for the bitchin earrings. i heart u. sorry i havent' been around to talk to u as much..just...isn't meant to be right now i guess. love u though. i don'tthink anything could change that. except murder. but yea.

think i'll go check diaries now.

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