sheperd me oh God was played on 2005-05-27 at 1:51 p.m.:

ok so the funeral was yesterday. it was hard..trying not to cry all day long. lucky for me aaron was there. mom let him and lan process with us. it was a nice ceremony. realy sad...mom just cried the whole time. kristen, julie lan and aaron and shannon came.

after the "burial" (she was put in the mauseleum) we went back the perish center for food. and damn..lots of food. both aaron lan and julie got to meet all my cousins..almost all of them came. i'm glad.

after that we went with julie to some music store and we ran in to jerry..who hugged me and toldme he was sorry. then we went back to my house...mom karen manny and daphne had bought like..8 cases of alcohol. smirnoff...beer..hard mikes. we went inside and watched grease and then went outside to drink with them (let wouldn't let me take it inside). then everyone left and went to bed and julie wanted to roast hotdogs..wel lets jsut say that i grebbed the wrong end of the very hot stick and my right hand has a burn on it about two inches across inthe shape of a prong. it hurt so bad i had togo inside and cry. it wasnt' until i started crying..that i relized i hadnt' really cried for my grandma yet..so i started sobbing..i realized right then that i will never see her again. and it hurt so bad. i guess it hadnt' really hit me yet..i had been trying to shard to put it out of my mind..to be strong for my mom..i just broke down..and then aaron showed up. he hugged me ...and told me he loved me...and we talked. oh i forgot to mention that i had at this point had 3 smirnoffs and 4 advils (i hurt so i took them before i remembered that i had been drinking) we went back outside..and i feel asleep on his shoulder. then he convinced me to go to bed..but i don't really remembre anything after that point..i jsut fell asleep. heh.

yea i felt guilty for that..making my friends clean up after me..god i'm so used to playing hostess..heh. oh well. i guess they didnt' really mind. hopefully.

so today..i'm just hanging out..nursing my hand getting ready for work. aaron has to work today. and it was like..a bummer. hehe

les has been talking to me alot lately. nice to have someone to talk to. i think. and no i'm not going to flame him for some of the things he says..i mean it is his opinion...and it won't be until he says something i can't stand..then he will get a major dosage of elsbe wrath:)

thanks to all my friends. i love u all.

thanks aaron. chubby bunny n all that jazz..after ur mom tries jesus...

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